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Re: Unavoidable
fear the pain of loosing those dear, Should be losing, unless you are talking about making something loose. I think I understand what message you are trying to get across ...
Jan 27, 2010 -
Re: Acedemics for athletes
does that means should be does that mean. "C' should be either 'C' or "C" Now that you have read this article are for having a "C" or higher in ...
Jan 27, 2010 -
Re: You aren't Pretty
Yeah, I thought this was quite good! Your first verse, I thought, was especially good. What care I for shining tresses, Long, dark rivers flowing free? Oh, I’ve got a ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: Unsung Hero
"If he is in their town, the people get so much hyper" I think this needs revising. Maybe "...the people get so hyper" "As we can say" This isn't really ...
Sep 28, 2009 -
Re: Seeking Attention Part 3
Well, I haven't read the other parts so that's why I don't understand it a whole heap, but it was very interesting. It's very descriptive, which is great, but at ...
Sep 21, 2009 -
Re: Something I Totally Drummed Up
This is a strange piece of poetry, no doubt. Obviously, the character is going through a hardship and is enviously viewing a blue bird's freedom. I think that you could ...
Sep 21, 2009 -
Re: The Laughing Mirror
I think the whole "hysterical painful laughing" mirror has a lot of applications for a horror story. It makes Lysander laugh too, which is quite freaky. Anything that makes people ...
Sep 20, 2009 -
Re: The Straits 2
Wow. That was an amazing experience, reading that story. It wasn't cliche, and it didn't overload on dialogue. If anything, it overloaded on action, but that doesn't bother me much. ...
Sep 20, 2009
